Last night I was struck with the way that I make certain things in life so much bigger/better than they are in reality. Two of the main things that came to mind were these:
Relationships:
I am engaged to the most perfect person for me I can imagine. I've told Hannah before and will tell her again and again until we go Home someday that she isn't my dream girl... she's way better than my dream girl: she's God's dream girl for me. I could never have dreamed of someone as wonderful as she- someone who sharpens me, challenges me, loves me when I don't deserve to be loved, is so full of grace, and is a complement to me in numerous areas.
That being said, however, before we were engaged, I built up the idea of engagement and an emotionally intimate relationship to be something that it's not. It's not easy, but rather quite difficult. I've been hurt more deeply than I thought I ever could be. I've been discouraged and there have been times when I've thought 'is this really how it's going to be, Lord? This isn't the way I imagined it!?' You see, I have watched too much TV and too many movies without stepping back and saying "what does God say about relationships?" So when all problems and difficulties are resolved in 90 minutes time, I think 'I guess that's how it happens in real life!' Nope. We're redeemed people who still struggle with sin, learning to be more like Jesus.
But at the same time, I've felt more loved and encouraged than I ever thought I could be. I've been more humbled than ever before, recognizing that God has given me such a joy and blessing in my wife-to-be (someone I will never "deserve"). I'm so excited to live out the prayer that I prayed before: "Lord, when Your timing is right, bring a woman with whom we'll be better together than we ever could be on our own", because I know that this will be true through Hannah and me. She is one of, if not the, greatest answers to prayer I will ever receive. I can't imagine walking this journey of engagement with anyone else...
Serving Overseas:
God willing, I'll be able to write more about this from experience in a few years. But for now I'm just writing from short overseas experiences.
I used to 'dream' about how fantastic it would be to live among the bedouin tribes of the Sahara desert, not having any electronics but merely living off the land and sharing the good news of Jesus with these people. While this may still be where God calls Hannah and me, I have found that it's not quite as grand as I once thought.
I spent a month in East Africa this past year, and while I was over there spent 5 days in a desert-town with very little technology. The only wireless connection was at the university, and it was so.stinking.hot. I didn't come anywhere near bedouin-type living, but I was so relieved when we got to the more-advanced capital city at the end of five days. I found that I had built up this idea of serving Jesus overseas to something much more than it actually is...
But I also know that, in the same way that Hannah's not my dream girl, but God's dream girl for me, I know that serving Him overseas will not be like my dream, but far better. Far more satisfying. Far more joy-filled (especially during trials and difficulties). Far more sanctifying. Far more glorifying to Him. It won't live up to my expectations, it will blow so far past them that my expectations will be long-forgotten and revealed to be as small as they truly are.
You know what's most exciting, though? We can never over-estimate Jesus. We can never say, "man, Jesus is THAT Good" and He not live up to it. Yes- He won't be our 'plastic Daddy' that gives us whatever we want, but as long as we're fixing our eyes on Him as He calls us to, He will always blow so far past our expectations that whatever small picture we thought Him to be will be long forgotten.
Isaiah 55:9 says: "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
He is and always will be greater than we think Him to be. One of our main goals in life should be John 3:30: "He must increase, but I must decrease."
Increase more and more in and through my life, Precious Jesus. Amen.
1 comment:
This was really a blessing to read today, Luke. It brought to mind some things I would prefer to stay "Fantasy." Thanks for the post!
Post a Comment